Point A to Point B: How I Got Here Without Mapquest

(Many thanks to John Paul Allen for letting me repost this powerful story –Greg)

I received a message from someone letting me know she ordered a copy of Gifted Trust from Amazon.com so I thought I’d write a little bit about the story that got me into all this. The following many of you already know. I’ve told you and it was covered in a magazine article a few years ago. As time passed I’ve had less reason to share, because we tend to promote our newest work with hopes that people will go back and read what we offered earlier. Though I’ve put out some short stories GT is the most available thing out there.

Note 1: I repeat things - constantly. It’s a Allen thing as is stretching a two minute story into 20 minutes. Ask Lisa, who deals with this all the time. Her means of dealing with it is to sound out a number, 15… 7… 22… whatever. It doesn’t matter, her purpose is to inform me that I’ve told it before. We laugh and I don’t finish. Betty, my second wife would roll her index finger to suggest I jump forward and Pam just sat there and listened. With her I’d ask why she didn’t stop me and she’d respond, “You always tell it a little different each time.” So if you’ve read/heard the following and you remember it different keep that in mind. The important stuff is here, but even I get tired of telling it and if Hilary can screw up on her sniper details I claim the same fault.

I looked at my son and thought, what would someone like the killer think.

Mt. Pleasant, Michigan 1983 - I was a single dad/student at Central Michigan University. At the time my major was journalism and my son was four. We lived in one of the family housing units and I was the only single father among many families and several single moms.

Note 2: As good as the situation might seem, I was pretty shy with women so I probably didn’t take advantage. A year prior to this I ended my first marriage was still dealing with things.

Note 3: Yes Lisa, was shy.

So I’m at CMU taking summer classes and was enrolled in Creative Writing: Poetry. I thought - Easy A. I figured it would take maybe an hour to slap together a poem. One night instead of writing one I watched a made-for-tv movie titled Adam about the son of America’s Most Wanted host, John Walsh. He was taken from a Florida mall at the age of seven and his decapitated body was found weeks later.

Note 4: If I remember right, his head was found and not his body.

I watched the movie while Jonathan slept on the couch. When it ended I knew I had to write something for my class assignment. I looked at my son and thought, what would someone like the killer think. The result:

The best time for me
is just before the screaming stops
and their voices hit that pitch.
Twisted little limbs
bending back and forth
back and forth
and all the blood
and the blue lips
and the begging for me to stop.
I love little children
so very very much.

I typed it up, titled it “Gifted Trust”, put Jonathan to bed and opened a beer. I got an A.

Humble, Texas 2000 - Jonathan grew up by this time. I had been married, divorced and married again. It was my second year with Pam and I was working at an alternative high school in Humble as the Assistant Wellness Coach.

Note 5: Wellness - PE … I watched students walk around an activity field. Sometimes they’d play some game, but usually they walked. I still hadn’t finished college, but was able to teach because of a shortage and the school system could pay me less for my status.

Why Gifted Trust? The main character had a gift with children. They trusted him.

While working at the school I was required to earn points. This was done by attending workshops, seminars or taking college classes. I enrolled in a college course - Creative Writing: Fiction. It was a Monday night class and the first three weeks my stories were based on my life. I wrote about growing up in Michigan, navy life, that sort of stuff. Then I decided I wanted to do something different so for a week I carried a legal pad around with me everywhere and attempt to write. I didn’t. The day of my class I left work, stopped at home and continued to the college where I got to the computer lab about three hours prior to the beginning of class. I sat in front of a blank Word document for hours and with about 50 minutes left I took a break. I left the room and walked the halls of the buiding until coming to a small lounge where a couple of students watched tv and I saw John Walsh. That’s when it hit me. I quickly returned to the lab, sat at the computer and wrote a five-page short story I also titled Gifted Trust.

Note 6: Why Gifted Trust? The main character had a gift with children. They trusted him. I think titles are important and I thought it rang nice. I kept it when I expanded the story into a novel, even though it had less of a connection. Sometimes the title hits me before the story. After watching the movie, Little Big Man I thought about the various names for some of the Indians when I came up with Runs Like Rabbit (my first story after GT). Several years before I started writing I was driving through Georgia when a bus passed me. On the side I read, Church of the Weeping Mary. I thought, Weeping Mary would be good title. I had the title, Monkey Love before I wrote the story. One title without a story yet is, The Holly Bibble: The Newer Testiment.

So I wrote the story and hurried to class. I walked in late and was informed that I would read mine last. I sat there and listened to stories about life - someone read about a fishing trip. Another student told us about her grandson’s operation and the importance of his teddy bear. With ten minutes left I took my turn. I remember going up to the front of the class and saying something really dumb, “It was hard for me to write this and it’ll be harder to read it.” And I did. When I finished I looked up to a silent room. Jaws were dropped open. Three women were crying. The instructor said, “Wow.” I said, “Cool.”

Class ended and I drove home. Pam was sleeping so I woke her up and read the story. She said, “If I didn’t know you, I’d suggest therapy.” I said, “Cool.” She went back to sleep and I went to my computer where I posted the story on a website and then searched for writers I could share it with. I sent out a dozen messages inviting various writers to visit my site and read my story. I asked for comments.

Note 7: At the time I thought writers didn’t work. They had plenty of time to read my story.

A day later I received a message from a well-known writer. He suggested I expand my short story into something and I replied that I only wanted comments about my writing style. I had no interest in writing horror. I didn’t read it or watch it. He wrote me back: Reconsider. I did.

I don’t write stories from A to Z - beginning to end. I do them in sections and decide where I want things to go. That practice began with Gifted Trust and the part I wrote first eventually became the middle of the book. This was when I gave my killer a name, Jeffry Michael Roberts and I allowed him to do very bad things. While writing it I posted my story on my site. One morning at work I was watching students walk around the activity field when I was called into the office. The principal wanted to see me. I went there between classes and was told to sit. She did the same across from me when she slid the folder in my direction and said, “Tell me about Gifted Trust“. I explained that I was writing a book and asked how she came upon the contents of the folder - my partial manuscript. Someone found it and made a copy. She said the school board wasn’t happy. I told her they couldn’t fire me for writing a book and she said we would see.

She slid the folder in my direction and said, “Tell me about Gifted Trust“.

The next day I was again called into the office and told that two detectives of the Humble Police Department wanted to talk with me. She gave me a card with their information on it and I left the building. I called Pam to let her know what was going on and she suggested I buy a small recorder to take with me. I did. When I got to the police station I was taken to a room and questioned. They played good cop/bad cop. They told me I knew too much about child abduction. They told me I was sick. Eventually they told me they believed I was writing a book, but if any crime took place in the area dealing with children I would be a suspect. On the way out of the station one of them showed me that my website was one of their favorites. When I got home I took it down and replaced it with a message on a yellow background thanking the Humble Police Department for their interest in my writing.

The first semester ended and winter vacation passed. After the first of the year I was again called into the principal’s office. This time I was informed that they wouldn’t fire me for writing a book. Instead they decided to take my classes away from me. Until the end of the school year I would come to work and sit in outside so I could watch the cars in the parking lot. I believe they expected me to quit. I didn’t. At the end of the year I was informed that the grant paying my salary was not available.

I was informed that they wouldn’t fire me for writing a book. Instead they decided to take my classes away from me.

I wasn’t allowed to work for the school district in any capacity after that time and eventually Pam suggested I don’t work with children, because eventually someone would find out about my book. The good news is that I finished the book and my experience helped. As some of you know, in it I have a character who works as a Living Well instructor at an alternative high school in Quinley, Texas. His therapist suggests he keep a journal about his dreams/voices he heard and he did so on the net. One day he is called into his principal’s office and he watches a folder being slid across a desk toward him. He hears, “Tell me about Gifted Trust.” He lies and says he’s writing a book and that’s the title. A few days later he is sent to the Quinley Police Department where he’s questioned by two detectives.

Note 8: I never worked with kids again. When my neighbors learned I was published they either bought the book or got a copy from me. Most of them avoided me after that. One neighbor begged for a copy and after reading it she avoided me for over a year. She started talking to me again the night Pam died.

After Gifted Trust was published I received a couple of death threats via email.

Note 9: After Gifted Trust was published I received a couple of death threats via email. I took one to the same detectives who questioned me about the manuscript. At this meeting I gave them copies of the book and I brought them coffee. They told me they could do nothing unless I was attacked.

So why post all this? I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to show you how things happen. If you had told me eight years ago that I’d one day write horror I’d never believe it. Funny how things turn out, huh?

(Originally posted in John Paul Allen’s MySpace)

Check out John Paul Allen’s MySpace and his website Gifted Trust - John Paul Allen.

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Edit:
John Paul Allen has written a pair of follow-up blogs: Where Ideas Come From and The Covers.